The lady said..
This is me. Good body, nice face, clear skin, tall-ish (5’9). Well off family, good grades without effort, great friends. Has passions, hobbies, loves, just like any other teenager. White, upper class, able, pretty, bright young girl. Seemingly perfect. Right?
First of all, I experience a lot of the issues other girls experience. Body image, disordered eating, and I’m far from mentally healthy. I’ve been self-harming for over 2 years, and i’ve attempted suicide once.
Then we add in another thing to the mix.
I’m bi. Going to a Catholic all-girls school, this ensures a multitude of problems. First of all, the general bitchiness and gossip, and then there’s the homophobic teachers who let any bullying slip by. I’d say about 3/4 of my year group has talked shit about me in the past year.
Being queer in a conservative household, it means I can’t even go to my parents for support. My friends, while amazing, are straight so they don’t experience the same issues, so it feels like i’m all alone.
This is when the problems start. I don’t want to think coherently, so I start showing up to school drunk or spiking my water bottle with alcohol. My friends see me off, and i can’t tell them i’m drunk at school, so i always play it off as being ‘tired.’
Do my parents know any of this? Absolutely not.
Whilst i’m not trying to make a show of how terrible my life is, as I realise that i am so fortunate to be living in my country, to be an able-bodied, upper class, conventionally attractive white girl, my life is far from the shallow perfection that it seems. I’m far from perfect.
My point of this is to show that no one is perfect. Everyone who seems to be perfect is dealing with their own issues. Some are just better at hiding it than others. Perfection is overrated. I’m just striving to be happy.
EDIT: The comments on this post have been WILD. I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who wrote nice or inspiring things, and clear up a few things.
- When I say I’m white as a ‘good’ thing, I’m referencing the way that in western culture white people are more likely to be represented as ‘beautiful’, and that white people are fortunate to not be discriminated against because of our race. This goes the same for being able, and financially stable etc.
- It’s quite funny to see a few hate comments. Including men who think that it’s their place to judge my appearance, and go as far to tell me how to present myself. Or those who say that bisexuality is a choice.
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