To Pay or Not to Pay


Imagine … You’re on a date.  You’re all dressed up.  He’s charming.  The conversation’s flowing.  He makes you laugh and he seems like he’s really into you.  The evening is delightful.  Romantic.  Absolutely perfect.

Then the check arrives.

Your date looks at the check and says, “Should we just split this?” Your heart sinks.

(Damn. Just when everything was going so great.)

Would you …

A. Tell him how rude he is and how he should NEVER ask a woman to pay.

B. Give in to his request and pay your share.

     C.  Negotiate with him about who pays.


 
If you choose A, you’re not giving him the right to be who he is. (Most men don’t go for controlling bitchy women … even if they are cheap.)

If you choose B, you’re building a friendship.

If you choose C, you’re willing to take a risk on building an intimate relationship.

So if you decide to negotiate … how would you do it?

1. Give Him Permission to Ask for What He Wants

Even if you don’t like the fact he asked you to pay, he has a right to ask for what he wants.

If he’s someone you want to build an intimate relationship with, it’s in your best interest to acknowledge it.

So tell him he has every right to ask you to pay your share.

2. Tell Him How You Feel

If you don’t feel comfortable splitting the tab, tell him.

Let him know you respect men who are generous and protective. In return you’ll feel more vulnerable and receptive to his lead and ideas.

Although it can be scary, it’s in your best interest to feel a little indebted to a man you’re dating. As you feel safer and cherished by his generosity, you’re better able to open up sensually and sexually.

3. Make an Agreement

Ask him what he wants to do.

Does he want to pay the bill and establish himself as the respected “Hero” in the relationship?

Or does he prefer to find someone else who will split the check and be his friend?

Knowing how to negotiate helps build intimacy in your romantic relationships.

Do you end up “blowing it” or selling yourself short because you don’t know how to communicate and negotiate the business side of romance.

Do you want better romantic results? Then please join me for a complimentary podcast at Loveawake dating site, the “Art of Men and Money: How to Negotiate the Business of Romance” on Monday, March 22 at 5:00 p.m. PST.

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