Fighting back the fury and sorrow

For a week, I had no idea what they were talking about.

I asked Roseberry,  "Sars?  You mean the virus??? It's back??  Oh my gosh!  We are still dealing with COVID and now the SARS virus is back???"

"No Mummy, this is the Special Anti-Robbery Squad in Nigeria..."

Last week, she went on to explain exactly what was happening in Nigeria with the corruption and the deception.  How things are unraveling.  

Are you laughing at my ignorance?  You can.  But you should also cry for the reason I was in ignorance.  I had no idea because the world was keeping it secret for weeks before all this broke.  NOW you can see it on the world news.  But why did it take all of this - to bring it to the world stage?? Are hundreds of thousands of Nigerian lives that are crippled by police brutality and corruption and MURDER any less than the ONE life that makes the world stage if it happens here in America?

Shameful!  Life is life.

 Why do we have to keep reminding everyone of this simple fact? 

I spoke to other UU students.  

But they aren't just students.

They stopped being students a long time ago.

They're my sons and daughters, separated by an ocean, but joined in love.

You think that it's exaggeration?  People know my anger can be fierce.  (of course, that's where the "Tiger" comes from)  But my love is all the more fierce. Doubt it?  You can ask the ones I love.

Last week.  Peaceful protests. Rising heat.

And then - it got so much worse.

We are already mourning with some who have lost loved ones as a nation sprayed gunfire bullets against its own people.


Because they dared to stand up against corruption.  To stand for what's right against evil.

I see the hearts of my family there, and I'm torn.

I'm proud of how they refuse to back down, but I'm terrified that they will be gunned down.

I want to tell them to fight with everything they have, but what if that means we lose them?

I want to tell them to "run away so they can live another day" - but is that truly living?  Living in fear and oppression? Or is it better to be willing to give your life for a cause so that others may live in freedom.

Because, as we know - all too well,  Freedom is never free. 

Freedom is fought for - with blood.  Sacrifices are made. Heroes give their lives so that others can live - TRULY live - in their place.

I'm afraid.  I've been afraid, and sick with worry, and trying to calm others while I'm unraveling inside.

Yesterday after graduation, no one heard from Fola.  

I just kept thinking of all the times we've laughed in my DM.  The silly things he's shared with me.  The prayers over his rough times when we've encouraged one another.  The way he calls me "sweet mom".  How he works so hard, plays so hard, laughs so hard. I thought of ridiculous things!  Like the gifs that he uses to ALWAYS bring me to giggles.  And I thought - is that the last time I'll ever see from him?  Hear from him?

All day, no one heard from him. The night stretched on.

And I'm sitting here typing this, crying, thinking - that's how fast it all happens.  He could have been gone and I'd never get the chance to hug my sweet Fola like we planned. A real hug, one day - in person.  We all dreem of it. And now, never for Fola?

And then I got the DM. 

"Sweet mom"

He was safe.  Gunshots all around, but his life was spared.

But today, who else will have my heart on tenterhooks?

I'm afraid.  but I remembered.  Perfect love casts out fear.

The One who sees all this is still in control.  I can't see through the smoke and chaos and tears - but He can.

I can't understand, but He does.

I don't want to see clarity in this madness, but unbelievably - He has a plan.

and I will trust.  Because wherever we go, He has gone before.

Lord Jesus.  We are all so tired of the evil in this world.  But we wait on You.  and will trust until You set everything right. I place every one of my babies' lives in Your more-than-capable hands.  Not just them.  But all.  And I know that vengeance is Yours.

How I long for Heaven.  I'm tired.

Be safe, my sweet babies.  

Be wise.

In the face of this horror, we can still spread love.

Find moments of joy amidst the fear.

There are things that can never be taken away - NEVER.

Guard these things fiercely.  They are your inheritance.

I love you from the fullness of my heart. 

Momma Tiger

I am just a mom, separated by distance from her children who are there, suffering.  

Do you want to hear it from the mouth of one there?  I suggest you do.

(by Ejimadu Onyedikachi)


Line divider created for me by @Not Penderis

Cover Photo by Maan Limburg on Unsplash



Oneray I.
22 Oct

The situation my Nigerian brothers are going through is not at all easy. I myself experienced something similar before leaving my native Venezuela. Oppression, corruption, and impunity were the order of the day; There was no, and still, there is no way to remove a government that has screwed itself into the seat of power.

But a phrase that I always use to calm my moments of anguish is this: "Be calm, Oneray, God is in control" And I know that as my land will have the time to shine again, Nigeria will also have its moment of glory and freedom.



Tiger Lily
22 Oct

yes - i remember it well!   with our designer Jharvis (who is also family)  we helped him to escape the horror there.  I remember being afraid everyday.

Freedom for all those who are oppressed.  May God grant it!


Maureen Eze
22 Oct

It has been a sad moment for this country. 

We are all praying and hoping for a better nation

We need your prayers 


Tiger Lily
22 Oct

I'm praying.  Believe that I'm with you in my prayers


Maureen Eze
23 Oct

Thank you very much Tiger lily 


Raheem Rao
22 Oct

Every new day comes with a bad news of brutality  on Nigeria  people 

Every day  the innocent  people  are killinggovernment  is also not coming  fir help only only oray to God for help


Tiger Lily
22 Oct

I'm praying and praying for the restoration of the land


Alagbe Adeniyi
22 Oct

You are very right... 

Covid 19 experience was one of the terrible experience we ever had.. now it's the issue of end of SARs, police brutality and bad governance.. this crisis is becoming more unlike a war in Nigeria..our bad leaders are killing our peaceful protestor by sending in a military force known as army to kill our youth which is not ideal..

May God sustain this country for us 


Tiger Lily
22 Oct

So many dead!  for power and greed and corruption?!?!  its disgusting - and infuriating!  i'm so tired of these things!


Alagbe Adeniyi
22 Oct

You are absolutely's becoming unbearable for me to hear and see 


Saqib Ali
22 Oct

Well it's very critical situation in much sad after hearing the current situation in nigeria.ohhh God please save inocent people from the  crluler government. In this current situation every one is separated by thier belod ones and thier is no garenty of life when they put a bulit in thier bodies and thy go from this world 😰







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